Thank you

I wish there was a better way to respond to individual comments where I know you would see them, but I just wanted to tell everyone thank you for your kind thoughts, prayers, words, and just...everything. It really helps bolster me up, and give me a lift during the day. Thank you just doesn't seem to express how much it means to me. (:

At a loss.

I'm not sure if this is the best way to do this...but honestly right now, it's the best way I can think of to get the message out to all of you who are such good friends to me.

This morning at 5:57 AM, my beautiful mother Irene passed away at the hospital. Needless to say it's been a rough day for my family. My mom is just...the greatest lady you would ever know.

Right now, I really don't think I can go into details. I am thankful that she was able to go pretty quickly, so she wouldn't have to continue to suffer with the pain she has been having lately over an extended time.

I am so thankful for everything my mom has done for me. I truly can't express in words what a wonderful mother she has been. I am so thankful that she doesn't have to hurt anymore - that she is now I am sure, overjoyed to be reunited with her loved ones that have passed on before her, and free of the pain she has been going through these past few years.
I am so thankful for my belief and knowledge that families are forever, and that this separation is just temporary. That we will all be reunited again when we have passed on. I am so thankful for my family, for my friends, for all of you who show so much kindness and love to me.

Just, thank you all for everything...I wish I had time to let each and everyone one of you know personally whats going on right now, and I am sorry for this somewhat impersonal way of doing so. Please don't feel like you can't call or email if you would like to - if not, I totally understand too. I am just thankful to have so many good people in my life. And even though she isn't upon the earth any longer, I know my mom is always watching over me. I will miss her so much...

Downer

My mom was taken in to the hospital today. Lately she's really been struggling with shortness of breath, and just feeling overall "icky." Granted, the new chemo she is on is not reacting as well with her as the previous ones she's been on, so she usually has a few bad days right after her treatment. However, during my usual after work call with her on Friday, she mentioned she really wasn't feeling good, and she hadn't had a treatment in over a week. Then today, as she was trying to walk from her car to the church building, she literally felt like she wouldn't make it - so my dad took her down to Lutheran. We're talking maybe a 20 ft. walk here.

So they've admitted her and are going to run some more tests - she's recently been having tests done on her lungs and heart to try and figure out whats going on, but nothing conclusive has come back yet. Hopefully the tests they run during her stay at the hospital will have more answers, because I don't see how she can keep going like this - where literally walking from one room to another will make her feel faint.

I'm just...tired of seeing her in pain like this. Tired of both my parents having to deal with health issues. Tired of being stuck here in Utah and not close by where I can tangibly help more. Tired of wondering what's going to happen next. More than anything, I just wish I could see them feeling "back to normal" again.

I'm sorry for the short, downer post...I don't know, just been feeling bummed out tonight. I'm so terrible at writing things down, and I just...felt like I needed to get these thoughts out in writing somehow. I hope I can look back on them in the near future and think "I'm so glad we all pulled through okay." I've just got to hang on to that. I'm so thankful that Mark and I are going out there for Thanksgiving this year so I can spend a few days out there, and then it's just a short time until Christmas. There are so many things in my life that I have to be grateful for, and I just need to hang on to those things and be as optimistic as I can.

RRoD

For those not familiar with nerd speak, "RRoD" means "Red Ring of Death."



Which means our XBOX 360 had an epic fail. And we have to send it away to get it fixed, which will probably take about 2 weeks.

Which totally. sucks.